Shadow

If there was a way to explain,

Words to describe,

Gestures to illustrate

This gnawing hollowness within me

I would

 

There is some entity

Nesting within my Cimmerian depths.

Taking upon a grotesque appearance;

A manifestation of nightmares.

 

Insomnia eats away at the nights

Sleep deprivation, the days.

Paranoia stalks from the shadows

 

Darkness lunges trying to trip.

Striving to inflict pain

And exults from victory.

 

Smaragdine expanses keep them at bay.

Even then whispers thunder

Deafening the fragile ears.

 

Wind shatters from sheer thrust

Rain pounds down to wash,

but fails.

Stains so black,

So melanoid refuses to fade.

 

Thick obsidian glass blocks view.

Barricades passages

Beware

You trend upon an obscure path.

 

Years of barren conquests

Futile conquests

But finally, the answer came to light

“Everyone has it, but no one can lose it”

 

Oppressed

Trapped within lead

Chained in potassium

Fragile but explosive

Alluring but corrosive.

 

The most sinful thing of all is

She loves the darkness that fills her

She lives on chaos

On destruction

For pain & sorrow.

 

However,

There was purity

Clear as crystal

Her love could breathe life

Her care could heal wounded & broken

Her will could cleanse

Her passion could raise lost souls

 

Concoction of all these gave birth to

A girl

A girl with a crown of roses and thorns upon her head.

With mellow brown eyes

Those that would fade to a shade of platinum

Or darken to jet black veined with red

 

She is the entity living within

Breathing the same air

Blood flowing through the same veins

 

“Everyone has it, but no one can lose it.”

A Shadow

*sigh*

That girl, the entity?

That girl is me.

~Qurratul

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

Sometimes I wonder if it’s all just a sick lie.
Everything around me is an illusion.
People around me are holograms.

I wonder if I will wake up someday with a start and realize none of it was true.

All these people I’m meeting and getting acquainted with.
All these events I’m participating in.
All these activities that I’m doing.
All these smiles and laughter.
All this love and heartache.

All these memories.

What if it was all just a sick game.
A bittersweet lie.
Some virtual reality stimulation.

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, otherwise commonly known as Broken Heart Syndrome.
That would be the first thing I’d be diagnosed with.
And that too in a severe form.

Who knows.
Maybe, just maybe, these things won’t be snatched away brutally from me.
It won’t be ripped apart from my heart.
It won’t be extirpated from my mind.

But then I have no control over what this world, this life, more precisely holds for me.

All I can do is go along with the flow like the streams flow through rivers then finally out to the ocean.

Going against the grain is worthwhile, yes, definitely.
That would explain the wounds and burns I bear on my mortal body.
~Qurratul

-Fight-

IMG_0199.JPGIt looks like you are stuck in the same place again.
Ending things, at the place where it all began,
When life goes wrong
Would you pull it back up
Or carry on with the pieces you found?
All the pain you have suffered,
All the bitches you have caught,
All the anxious mornings and all the nights you guys fought.

Who would pay for them?
When you both are lost in the game.
Rat race, fucking cold wars.
Scratching, biting and all those scars.
Ended up hiding behind excuses, deciding on coin toss.
When life is nothing unpredictable, it’s about loss.

Heal yourself and never look back.
People will stab you and show you what you lack.
You don’t need to validate yourself or win.
No need to show them what you have seen.
Spread love and concern,
Not jealous and aversion.
Love yourself, do what’s right.
Cause at the end it’s always night.
So fight.

             -Samara Hasan-

Time to Wake Up

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All monsters are humans

Veiling their faces in malice,

But we are sweating in the Sun,

Only to make their golden chalice.

 

I was handed a hammer

Instead of a pen,

I was given a childhood

That no child could ever think of even.

 

Is it not unfair?

They give us a fierce glare

So their future could flare.

 

Tell me what accursed life is this?

That I cut rocks on blocks

While the same of my kind read books on Clocks.

 

Wake up humans!

Kill the monster that resides inside you.

Wake yourself up from the hibernation of a thousand decades!

Cause God will take count of

Every drop of tear

That has ever come out of an innocent heart’s fear.

Will you?

Will you kiss me?
if i say this is the last time your lips will touch mine,
Will you still embrace my love
that i have given you for years?
would you believe me if i say,
all the years the memories i made with you,
i will carry them with me to my grave?
Will you look into my eyes,
and search for another world,
for one last time as i march towards the abyss of death?
When you held me for all these years,
i felt a thrill rushing through my body,
Like butterflies staying inside my corpse. would it feel the same way,
when you will touch my skin for the last time?
Years later,
when you will look back into the oblivion of the past,
will i be a mirage to you?
a mirage, if existed you could have had a happy peaceful life.
Would you still look at me with those lively eyes,
when i will say to you that the invitation for my death has already come and the grim reaper is right outside the door. Will you still say you are in love with me,
when i will leave the next second,
saying goodbye to you forever.
Will you promise me?
to live happily,
to forget me and memories,
as i walk out towards my end.
will you still kiss me? for the last time.
So i can close my eyes and jump into the unknown, afterlife.

Winter Recedes

The cold comes later
Like ice, taking longer to form
When the temperature is set high in the freezer.

It lasts a shorter time
Like ice-cream left out in the open,
Or like a snowflake, melting on a gloved finger.

It chills with less enthusiasm
Like a war lost
Pointless struggles and dwindling hope.

Winter recedes somewhere we cannot reach
Slowly, waiting for the “all at once”
There’s only so much to do.

Warmth spreads, true to its nature
How long will it take for us to understand
That Winter just wants friends?

Need

I still need you.
Is that bad?
Everyone seem to think so…
The walls around my heart have crumbled once again.
Pain has come rushing back.
We are all over the goddamn place.
Never stopping too long at one.
Do you still “love” me?
I never thought that would matter so much to me.
But I guess it does.
I write my feelings and thoughts.
I don’t speak them.
But one question.
Do you feel the same for me?