Broke, but Better.

What’s a heart when you don’t feel a stab at it? What are the eyes if you don’t cry out badly? What’s the use of smiling if you can’t fake a few of them? And what is actually the world if there aren’t people who change faces? What’s a human being if no mistakes are made? What is the use of having a big heart, if you can’t forgive?

All these flaws, and qualities that you have in between, within; are there for a reason.

People stab at you, at your heart a bit, to teach you lessons. You cry your heart out, just to let all that bad stuff out. You let out a fake smile, so it’s easier at the end to smile a real one. People change faces at times, to get you used to the different “phases”. Learn from them because you have to, make use of them. People make mistakes, but those are part of our lives too, get over them. If you’re given a heart, learn to forgive because what’s more to lose? Time is less. Do whatever you feel like, but learn from each and every phase you face. When the Creator himself forgives your sins, who are you not to? Just let go.

Let go, Learn, Live.
Might be BROKE, BUT only to become BETTER.


Orphan? No, I’m Superman.

Nine year old Jai, still roamed around the cities with bare feet, torn clothes and a pale, empty mouth that yearned for food. At least, a piece of bread would do. But, no. It wasn’t affordable. It would’ve been, if we would let them.
He stood helpless, no one bothered even eyeing him once. He looked around and saw nothing but cruelty. People would buy foods, clothing, or other necessities. But none took time to look at the poor boy who each morning would run to the train station, hoping, that this might be the day. This might be the day, when he finds his parents. Maybe they left him, but they had reasons, he thought. Maybe they cared, but couldn’t show. No matter what the other children in the slams said, he still defended his long-lost parents, praying that he’d find them and hug them tight.  Hug them so tight, and make them believe that they need not to worry and do not need the urge to leave their son like this. But life was much more tragic and painful than he imagined. Maybe they hadn’t just left him, maybe they left living. Maybe they left this world. Maybe they were broken apart by the cruelty and couldn’t handle the struggle. 

He grew. Two more years passed. Him, still looking for someone who’d take care of him, someone who he’d work for. Another of his companions, would ask him a question. He would say each day, that he had his mom, who he hands the money to, at the end of the day. But who does Jai have, to share the happiness with? 
And as he had done throughout his life, he would stay silent. He would always look up at the sky, and think to himself, what was actually the answer to this question?

One bright morning, when the sun was almost out, Jai gathered all his courage and started his journey towards the jungle. Trees surrounded his vision and wherever he could take his eyes to. His eyes traveled all over the forests, to stop at one spot. The sun almost rose, so he ran faster. Darkness was slowly being covered up by the dawn light. His heart thumped rapidly across his chest. He couldn’t breathe now. He inhaled and exhaled. Ran even more faster now. Moments of rapid marathon-like run passed, he finally reached a mountain-like structure that was assembled by some bushes. He climbed up to the top. And he finally got to his destination. He could see the morning sun blooming out from underneath the river that lay in front of his eyes. He was in an undeniably beautiful heaven. The sky was a mixture of blue, orange, purple and yellow colors, maybe more than he could ever explain. He felt the happiness run through each and every part of his body. His legs trembled by the cold breeze that the dawn held. Now, it was done. He could see the sun rise, just in front of his fresh, teary eyes.

It was clear. He had the answer to all the questions that came up. He whispered to himself, “Maybe God made life like it is now. Maybe He took my parents away. He had reasons, maybe. Maybe he liked them too much. But now, if anyone asks me if I’m alone, if I’m an orphan, I can say, that I, at this age, got to know the nature to the depth. I discovered life, being how it works now. I saw the sun rise just below my eyes. Am I not special? You say I’m an orphan. But I say, I made it this far. It is not your cup of tea. I should be called ‘Superman’ like in the movies. Now, I’ll say, “Orphan? No, I’m Superman”.

The Good kind of Bad

Did I not warn you? Did I not tell you how broken I was, already?
You kept pushing me to the depth and I kept on breaking into smaller pieces with every move of yours. Or let’s just say, every word of yours.
Is this how this world works? Like, do we always got to end up among people, who are so selfishly cruel? Who just think about none, but themselves, well in some way.
You stood only by yourself, you polished my wounds with all your sweet, yet so deeply hurtful words. You consoled me that all you did or do, was to get me bliss. But how on earth did you not realize, how unwanted I felt, when I smiled?
You said, you only cared about me and my happiness, but yet, how come you hurt me like a torn apart mind without knives? In fact, by just your so called ‘sweet actions’. This is how I felt, and this is where you belong. There’s an empty space in my heart called ‘nowhere’. And this is your ultimate destination towards me. With your intentions of getting through me, you lost all the respect for you that I had held tight till now. Just so you would change. But it was only me, who thought like that. Not you. Nothing changed in you.
I may not be able to get away with all the reasons you gave me to cry, but I can hope, that this ain’t the end. There’s a lot more cries still left. That only you own, and not me.

Whenever I’m There!

black-and-white-photography-11Mornings don’t start with cold quivering hands on your cheeks to wake you up. They don’t start with your feet being pulled by another, under the blankets. It only happens Whenever I’m there! 

Someone calling out, “Is your night over yet or not?”, with laughs. I yawn and smile. My cousin, probably the double of my age, but we’re still pulling hairs of one another. Then it was around ten of one winter morning. All gathered at a place, just once in a year we get to feel this bliss. After getting back, we had so much to miss.

Someone again calling out, “Are you done looking at the mirror? Now rush here or your tea will melt into a juice. ” I laugh and head to the dining. Cups of tea and jars of salted biscuits lined up all around the tables. We sit and eat like one big family. They always pamper us and shower so much of love.

Then we head for a walk. Anywhere. And everywhere. No limits for me. Whenever I’m there! Whenever I’m home!
Those streets, those mesmerizing fields, children playing around, noises and cheers of them in joy, and I walk through the middle. They stare at me as they find me different. I was, in a totally different world there. I keep on walking and explore. What a life they had!
Then we come across a field and start running here and there, watching those birds, and all those flowers floating over ponds on the way. I feel free, like totally free! No one is out there to stop me!

I notice that I’m surrounded with cold breeze, bunch of animals, greenery and happiness.

As far I can take my eyes to, I only see the fields going on and on and like it never ends.

I get home afterwards and hear voices, “Where have you been? I’ve got this, this and that for you.” I smile and feel as special. They’ll always care, and I’ll always love and stare!

We then sit in the courtyard just to admire the winter sunlight. We talk, we laugh, and brother teases me as always but I still love every bit of that happiness. Those laughs, those funny jokes of my cousins, and those memories!

Everyday was like a dream, how beautiful life did seem!

And oh my nieces! They were both little adorable dolls! They ran everywhere around the house and I would join them, cuddling. Those fields were undeniably satisfying! I could only see peace wherever I could take my eyes to! Everything seemed to be perfect just the way it was!

No matter if the lights went off, we still gathered with torches, candles, or whatever we found and looked at each others’ faces that looked ridiculously funny in the dark and laughed over them.

My elder brother gave us a ride and we admired the astonishing views of the village life! The other one would take us to the fields and we ran again.

There was something new and adventurous each day!
Things that words can’t explain! Things that I want to feel again!
Those twelve days of my life! That December! 

It was now time to come back. Felt sad, but yet glad that I was bringing along a suitcase of memories that are unforgettable and forever cherished.

Those days! 

Those nights! 

Those laughs! 

Those fun! 

That friendship! 

The happiness that I had felt!

It only happens Whenever I’m there! Whenever I’m home! ❤