Crystal Clear

I walked towards him in long strides, visually inhaling and exhaling in the hopes of calming my nerves which were in havoc. My cheeks, a shade of red which cannot be named. “Now or never”- I thought to myself as his lips locked with mine. They said,” love can neither be seen nor can it be heard. It can only be felt by the heart.” Yet, I wanted to feel more than the feeling itself. So, I kept my eyes open. I watched how his expression changed every moment; from shock to awe, from pleasure to that of pain as if he can’t get enough.

The bluntness of his feelings made me take a step back in a daze. “Is something wrong, Yumi?” His voice dragged me back to my senses only to be drowned by his eyes. Those eyes stitched a million unspoken words into a fine line. The depth of it scared me. They were wrong. Love can be seen in so many ways that it can be frightening to the extent that you can never return the same feelings. So, I ran. I ran and never looked back.

Thus, as I kissed another man after 15 years to seal our marriage; I closed my eyes. I closed them in the fear of finding the passion in his heart which would never burn in mine. I closed my eyes fearing he would notice that blank slate of a heart reflected through my eyes.