Broken

Alone.
It’s like waking up from a deep sleep. Wondering what had happened,what had caused all of this. It wasn’t meant to end this way. You were supposed to grow old together. Hand in your hand,as you watch the waves crash on the shore. You were meant to be,right? Everything was going your way. You couldn’t stop talking to each other,couldn’t stop staring at those eyes. You couldn’t stop dreaming. So why did it end this way? Now you look around and see the couples you used to make fun of happy and hopeful. You go through your news feed and their photos infuriate you,make you want to bash their heads in. They don’t deserve this happiness,you did. Right? And all of these thoughts make you forget your own faults. Slowly you realize it was all your fault. Everything that went wrong were the butterfly effects of mistakes you did in the past. And then comes the hate. You begin to hate your own essence,your own decisions. You begin to question your actions,everything you do in every day of your life as you ask yourself,”Is it worth it?” And as your conscience fades away,you become nothing more than a mask in the darkness. People say they know hate. But you know they don’t.

Because no one knows what hate truly is until they hate themselves.

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8 thoughts on “Broken

  1. This has got a dark and deep shade to it, along with its psychologically sensitive phase. Goodness! It is wonderful and creditable the way you captured the real and actual essence of the scene. It first feels like it is going to grow on me and it eventually does. It is like the world has come to and end and nothing makes sense anymore…The love that is lost or gets lost or fades away or is better to walk out of (abusive relationship) slowly becomes a drug that you are not only addicted to, but also badly obsessed with. At times, you feel like giving yourself up; giving your identity, your existence and your self-respect up for someone who is extremely toxic for you but you are super blinded for it and it feels like too many efforts have been put in it and you don’t feel like pulling yourself away from it…because you are just not ready for it. Not yet. But will we ever be ready unless it happens and we whine over it. But then again, we shall NEVER, I repeat, NEVER underestimate someone else’s misery and the worst thing you can say to someone who is going through such a phase explained above is, ” It could be worse”. Honestly, it could not because that’s when they feel like their feelings, their sadness and their misery is not validating and breaks them a little more. It’s complex and I love how you artistically captured or framed it with well-chosen words and examples. Truly a great write. It also feels like someone is out there, going through the similar misery (similar yet not same) and this voices up as a tone of empathy. I think, to some extent, it is a shout out to all those readers. Hats off. Keep writing more. Truly a pleasure reading your writings.

    Liked by 1 person

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