The Suicide Note

Dear Daddy,

You’re probably wondering why I did this and why. And the others are thinking I did this for attention. But trust me, dad. I had reasons. Numerous reasons.

From the very first day, I tried. I tried making you happy. I tried making mother happy. I know I messed up pretty bad in my early days of childhood mixing up with the bad kids and doing things which you never liked. But have you ever asked yourself once; what I did was just the daily activities of a twelve year old? I did fight. I did steal money from your drawers. No denying that. Ever gave it a thought your twelve year old son didn’t use the money to buy drugs. He used it to buy some chocolates and chips he fancied.

I know all dads want their sons to shine in their lives. And you wanted that too. But as a father you failed to know your son. You made this image of mine by yourself which is completely untrue. You never got to know your real son. The real me. And now, you’ll never know.

Life had given me nothing. Being locked up in my room for days and nights.
Avoiding my friends. Avoiding going out cause you would think I was doing
something wrong. I did all this just to make you happy. To make you realize I wasn’t spoiled. But you failed to realize it every time. Every. Freaking. Time.

You have no idea what it took me to come to this decision. The pain is just too
much. I’d have probably been dead long time ago if it wasn’t for mother. No
matter how suffocating the pain was I endured it all just for her. Just to see her smile. She was always there for me. Both at my good and bad times. I love you, mother. And you dad; you never complimented me if I succeeded doing
something. You just complained. Complains after complains. There’s a certain limit to everything, you know? I never got the support I needed. I never got the love. I couldn’t endure it anymore.

As you see now, I’m not here anymore. Once, you told me if I died you would
have been relieved. All of your tensions would vanish. I never could make you
happy. So, this little thought came in my mind. If I could be dead somehow I
could make you happy.

Here I am now, dad. Right in front of you. Out of breath. Dead. You know what
my last thoughts were?“At last I could make my dad happy”. I died a beautiful
death. I will probably burn the rest of my days in Hell for doing such a deed. But anything for you.

I hope I got rid off of all your tensions.
Smile, dad. Smile out of joy. Do this for me, at least.

I love you, Father.

Your Spoilt son.

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5 thoughts on “The Suicide Note

  1. Woah!!! Wow!!!! I mean…I have got absolutely zero words to explain how utterly amazed I am. It touched my heart…although I am not sure if it broke my heart or healed my heart…I liked how flawlessly it addressed a moral lesson !! I loved how the issue of the importance of good parenting came in light by you! ThankYOU for writing this piece of pain and peace. Please keep writing more!! I WANT TO READ MORE OF YOUR WRITING!!! ^_^

    Liked by 3 people

  2. it really adds to this post that the author is named ‘Light of God”…

    . “You made this image of mine by yourself which is completely untrue.”

    This is called projection. It is when we see someone the way we want to see them and force our own opinions and beliefs onto them to create them in our image. Happens a lot around here.

    Liked by 1 person

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